How To Know If Your Ex Is Interested Again
In this video I’m going to talk about how to tell if someone is interested in you again. When we are emotionally attached to an outcome we often can have a very difficult time seeing what is going on.
This is especially true if you have attachment injuries. If you grew up in a home where you were not seen, heard or understood. If you formed an anxious or avoidant attachment style you likely distorted reality when things became too painful.
You might have told yourself that you have a great relationship with your family (even though you never really talked with them). It was because reality was too painful.
When we are in a situation that is too painful we distort reality as a way to cope. So, many of the guys I work with lie to themselves about what is really going on in a situation. I have an extreme example of a guy who has been distorting reality:
Hi Craig: So I think I have a really good chance of getting my ex back and I wanted to hear what you think. My ex broke up with me because I cheated on her. She didn’t actually catch me in the act, so she isn’t 100 percent sure I did it. I was drunk when I admitted it, but I think she may have forgotten. Plus I brought her flowers the next day.
She says she wants time and space away from me. I don’t think she really means it. It’s only been 3 months, but the other day she texted me to mail her the last of her things. She said she would mail me a check to cover the costs.
I was thinking I would just bring her back her things, so she will be happy to see me. I mean why would she offer to send me money if she didn’t want us to get back together?
Craig: Okay so you think that bringing the flowers away took away the pain of your betrayal? No. Not even close.
She said she wants time and space. Yes I think she really does mean it. She said she would cover the cost of the shipping because she wants her things back.
She is showing absolutely no sign of wanting you back. Nothing, if anything she is showing she has no desire to get you back.
If you want to know if a woman is interested you need to look at her behavior. Any time a woman puts contacts you… FOR ANY REASON, assume she is interested.
A lot of men get confused about the indirect/direct approach. So let me talk about it a little bit. If you haven’t talked to someone in a long time, they are going to be apprehensive about contacting you. They are going to worry that you will be mad at them.
They don’t want to make themselves vulnerable by saying: I want to know what’s going on in your life. I want to see you. I think about you. Because that puts them at risk for rejection. Nobody likes to feel rejected.
So women know they have to directly contact you. They call you, or text you, or send you a message to you somehow. That’s the direct part of the indirect direct approach.
Now, the indirect part is that they often send a message that confuses you. They don’t directly say: Hey, I miss you.
Perfect example: My friend got a text message last week: I just wanted to tell you I hope you have a good day. He hadn’t heard from her in a year.
They are almost always going to send you a text that leaves you confused. Sometimes they will use a birthday or a holiday as an excuse. Most people don’t know if it’s an excuse or the real reason. It is NOT the real reason. The reason is because they miss you and want to talk with you.
Women do not contact men they aren’t interested in.