Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Want You
Break ups are so difficult for so many reasons.
It’s so hard to be in love with someone who can walk away so easily.
What hurts is knowing how much you miss and love them. How much you value them or would do anything to be with them again… And they don’t even seem to care if you’re alive.
I Skyped with a guy this morning from the video My Broken Heart. His ex was in his job with her father. They walked right by him.
He is crushed. And I know how bad it hurts. Its the worst.
The first email is a follow up from yesterdays video Relationships That Will Never Work.
I watched the video, “relationships that will never work” and actually cracked up at most of it! I appreciate your comical and serious response. I do want to clarify, when I said” the greatest man”, there was a lol behind it! That is what he thinks of himself! I do see through the veil finally.
When I did try to confront him with the fact that I had seen the emails he did deny it of course but, when I emailed it to him was whenhe sent back the barrage of reasons why it was not true or I made it up.
I did not have sex with him since I found out! I did get tested for STD’s and I told him! And, he was always moved which made it easy, and the fact he may not have wanted it like that anymore. I am thinking he does not want the emotion involved in intimacy is why he choose to write to dude on Craigslist. I do not have reality distortion.
I did send new gf screenshots of our texts of him being mad and saying I must have sent info about Craigslist incident. Because the night before I did say well I wonder how you new gf would like to know. But I did not send that about him writing to dudes. I thought better of it while he was screaming slander and sue me. It was just texts of him being irritate and threatening me. I don’t think she liked it because she wont talk to him anymore. He picked up the rest of his belongings today. It did not go well. I am so much stronger because of your help. He said I did send her that, I know I did not. It is his fear. I did not want him happy in a new relationship and that was mean of me. I also protected her because this has been his triangulation pattern for years. He will do the same thing to the next girl. Yes, it hurts I loved him anyway. How sick is that. My conclusion is if anyone gets too close, he sabotages it by distancing and starts flirting and seeing if there is someone else because no one is as good as him (He thinks). No, I do not believe that anymore. Even though he said to me “you will never find a man as good as me!
I know my email was disjointed, I wanted to bring it together but panicked when I saw the 24 hours thing. He and I were on and off meaning we broke up because I did not put up with it. Later we got back together and we got along best when there was no pressure for a relationship. I wanted to be loved and be in a secure trusting place but it could not happen because of the cheating distrust and my snooping. I know this relationship was unhealthy and it helped me confirm it with your help knowledge and guidance. I should have listened to my family and friends. I felt he does have a good side and I am empathetic to his pain. But, not at a cost to my emotional health anymore. Thank you for your help Craig. I will keep listening to you. Hopefully, I can get a healthy relationship someday. I know it takes time and investment. I do not want to go fast.
Today's video focuses on loving someone who doesn’t want you. I did an email coaching and then followed up with a Skype this week.
Guy in his late 50’s dating a woman the same age
Hi Craig, We started dating about 7 years ago, and have lived together for the last 6 years. We were engaged the last 3 years.
She has children from a previous marriage and I have 2 from a previous marriage. All the kids are living on there own.
She came from a very loving and caring family. Her father passed away about 8 years ago. her mother passed away last November. After her mother passed away is when things started to change.
She inherited her Moms home and over half a million dollars. She was going to rent her Moms house, but started to mention that we move there.I told her that I would be open to moving in a few years when were retired.
Shortly after Valentines Day I went to a out of town business meeting, When I got back she had packed up and moved to her moms house.
Craig: WOW. That is crazy.
When I contacted her, she first told me that we would still be a couple but live in separate homes, but later said she would need some time and space to think about it.
Craig: Wonder what happened?
The first day I did all the wrong things texting, calling, and pleading. I then waited 4 days and sent her a text asking how she was doing , she replied that she was fine and how i was doing. The the next morning she texted me letting me know that we should go our seperate ways.
Craig: Where did all this come from?
I have not contacted her since. She did mail me a letter saying that she was sorry she left the way she did and that she cared for me, but that it seemed that we were not communicating any more and that she needed to live in her moms home. She closed the letter that she would always remember the good times we had together. Also enclosed with the letter was the engagement ring. I have been in no contact for about a month now.
Craig: Ouch. That was heartless.
We had very good relationship, never really argued much at all. I love her very much and miss her a lot.
Craig: Unfortunately, it seems like her inheriting that money appears to have a huge impact on her decision. She seems to have decided that she wanted a different or new lifestyle now that she has money.
It was incredibly cruel of her to leave you the way that she did. She does not act like an adult and acts very selfishly. If I was you I would not reach out and I would think long and hard about taking her back.
If she does reach out, I would make her work really hard to try and earn YOU back.