Do This When She Backs Away
There are times in our relationships when the person we are dating is less interested in us. This video can help you prepare for it by understanding why it happens and what to do when it does.
There are going to be times when someone you are dating is more distant, more disconnected, less present, and less attentive.
There are a lot of reasons as to why: They could be feeling smothered. Maybe they are having doubts about us. Maybe they are stressed about work or their health. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you.
When she backs away our natural instinct is to reach for them and cling to them.
I am going to give you the correct reason as to why men chase when the woman backs away. The real reason has to do with our instinct of separation anxiety. We are hard wired from birth to connect with others a survival strategy.
We have it from when we are infants.
If we lose our parents, we die. So we learn to scream and cry and throw tantrums to get them to protect us and stay close to us.
So when someone backs away from us it kicks in our hard wired separation anxiety. You have to ease your anxiety. One way you can do that is by reminding yourself that you are an adult now, and that if you needed to, you can take care of yourself.
I have 2 emails to get into. The first one is from Tyler who says: Hey coach, so I just started following your work about 3 weeks ago. I found your channel when I googled what do women want? Just to remind you I did my first email about a week ago and it helped A LOT. I have to say, my God the information on your channel is by far the most helpful. I used to follow other coaches, but half the time they just make up statistics and give out information that they make up as facts. Your channel is fantastic! The first time I saw your video, The Real Reason Relationships Fail, it was like my eyes were opened about things for the first time.
I wanted to make a quick recommendation of my top 5 videos by you. I really hope you share them. We Can’t Stop Arguing. We Create Our Own Value, How To Make Your Partner Feel Loved, You’ve Changed, and The Struggle of Intimacy.
So here is my question. I got this girls number at a party. At first she was texting me back right away. We went on a few dates and on the third date we hooked up. She was calling me and texting me daily. We started hooking up almost every day for about 2 weeks. I noticed she seemed distant from me for about 3 days I didn’t hear from her. On the 4th day I texted her. She didn’t reply. I texted her the next day. She didn’t reply. I called her the day after and left a message, no reply.
Craig: If you reach out to her and she doesn’t respond. Then do not continue to reach out to her.
If she backs away, you back away. It’s like her value in you has dropped. If you continue to reach out for her and she doesn’t reply, your value will drop in her eyes.
Tyler: I started to worry if everything was okay and then I saw she had posted a picture of her with a girlfriend on social media. I lost it, I texted her 3 times. She said, I needed some time for myself because things were going so fast, but now I’m not so sure about us anymore.
Craig: You have to Expect a woman’s interest level to drop. Sometimes someone’s interest level in you is going to drop.
When that happens, don’t lose emotional self control when you get separation anxiety. If she cuts you off, wait until you hear from her. If her messages are brief it means her interest has dropped
The second one is a success story from Dusty. Hi Craig, I am super pumped right now. Reason is, your videos helped me get with the girl I have had a crush on all summer. I had gone on 2 dates with her and tried to set up a third date. She tried to do a maybe date so I did your idea of the takeaway.
I told her to get in touch with me when she knows for sure. I didn’t hear from her for 2 weeks. But, I went out on a date and posted a pic. I don’t know if she saw it, but the next day she texted me and told me some days she was free.
I thought about your advice so I waited until the next day to respond. I figured, she took 2 weeks to get back to me.
Craig: Your inaction causes them to feel attraction for you. Because, like I said anxiety is the root of desire.
When a person has you chasing them, they lose anxiety, cause they know they have you, so they lose the desire.
When she contacts you, after you haven’t contacted them. Simply arrange the next time to get together.
Don’t pursue anyone who doesn’t want you. When their interest drops, you drop yours.
You want to be just as confident and secure, no matter how much her interest level drops. If her interest level drops from an 8 to a 3 just relax. You have to stay confident no matter what. That’s what she’s feeling in that moment.
Feelings change like the clouds in the sky and her interest level will rise and fall like the sea.
She will come back when she is ready. When she doesn’t hear from you, she will get anxious and start to desire you.
If she is still attached she will contact you.