She Might Be The One
I’m going to be talking about when you’re feeling in love and are ready to propose.In today’s video I’m going to be sharing an email from Peter Parker who I have worked with locally for some time.
Peter says Hi Craig, I wanted to update you and get your advice. But first I wanted to say that I love the channel, I watch your videos Monday- Friday and I am doing better in relationships than I have done in years.
Me and my gf have been together since January. I feel like she’s the one and it’s driving me nuts. We are both in love and I know this. I think it may be too early for the grand gesture. If I decided it would be in our 1 year anniversary. My gut tells me its early but my heart wants it so bad. I think being engaged would be the way to go, then maybe have her live with me.
Craig: My spidy sense is tingling and I say this guy has got it bad!
Congrats Peter. I’m glad to see you are happy and found someone that is making you happy. I can tell that you are really in love with this girl and are toying with the idea of getting engaged, but you know something isn’t quite right.
Peter: I know it’s the anxiety but I haven’t talked to her. I keep it to myself. I got to wait and see if she gives me clues to where she is in the relationship.
Craig: And I agree with you. Your anxiety is causing you to want to lock her down. Remember, when we do things out of anxiety and fear, it usually causes the opposite to happen.
So in your effort to lock her down, it’s ultimately going to push her away.
How do I know? Well you said I got to wait and see if she gives me clues to where she is in the relationship.
Let me make something clear. When a woman is ready to marry you, the clues are clear and present. They do not hide what they want.
They start talking to you about their friends getting married, places they want to go on their honeymoon and then…
They become like Smeagol obsessed with the ring. “My precious. I wants the precious”.
Then if that doesn’t work they go full Gollum on you. “Me needs it!”
Now, you also have to understand that your brain has been taken over and held hostage by hormones.
All those amazing chemicals are being released. Serotonin, dopamine, Oxytocin, vasopressin.
It’s going to cause you to overlook many red flags! Such as Attachment styles, Depression, alcoholism, anxiety, poor communication skills, commitment level
After 2 years, the chemicals in our brain go back to normal and then we start to see all their faults.
For that reason, I highly highly highly recommend you are with someone for 2 years before getting engaged.
If you’re still in love after 2 years. THEN get engaged. Because that is the person you’re really going to be with.