What To Do After You Get Her Number

What To Do After You Get Her Number

In this video on going to talk about how to handle things after you’ve gotten a girls phone number.

A lot of guys have no idea what to do after you get a girls number.  It’s very easy to make a mistake and cause a girl to lose interest in you right away.  So in this video on what I help clear things up all little bit.

I got 2 really good emails to go through today.

I got an email from Steve was struggling and confused.  It says hey Craig love the channel and the think you’re during a great job.  Thank you so much your work is helping me feel better about myself.  I’ve never felt confident when it comes to dating or relationships.  That’s why it I was hoping you could elaborate about what to do after you get a girls number.  There’s a girl that goes to like church, and thanks to your videos I realize she’s interested in me. Thanks to your videos I realized she was interested. When we were talking, she was playing with her hair and she touched me on the arm.

Okay so you can see that Steve is becoming more aware of signs up to look for when a woman is interested.  If a woman is touching you playing with their hair and making good eye contact their good indicators she’s interested.

I asked for her number and she said gave it to me. But now I’m not sure what to do.


Okay, first off for you. Awesome. I’m glad to see that you are feeling more confident and you’re starting to see results. That’s great keep it up!

It’s important that you be cool about it. It’s a great feeling when you get a girl’s number but you want to keep yourself grounded. Remind yourself you know nothing about this girl. You have no idea of what kind of life she has had or what kind of partner she would be.

Now most guys interest level can jump up way too fast. We tend to heat up like a microwave. But, women are more like a conventional oven. They take longer to heat up.


Women are more aware of the risks. Because they’re used to a lot of guys having a high interest right away but then don’t want anything more than sex. Some women just want sex. But I think more women want a meaningful connection.

It doesn’t feel very meaningful when the minute someone is done using you, they leave and never call you again.

Women don’t take things as seriously when they give out their number.

Here’s a goofy way to look at it. Imagine you were selling a house. You got a ton of people were interested in the house. You got tons of calls and everyone talks about how much they want to buy your house. Some of the callers act like they want to buy the house before they’ve even seen it (such as they tell the woman they want to marry her before they even meet). But nobody was truly interested in buying it. They all wanted to come over and see the house. They get tired of all the low interested callers.

Then occasionally someone wants to buy the house at a low price (as in no commitment). Or they say well if I buy the house, I want you to still mow the lawn. Or they find someone who can’t afford the house (they’re in a relationship or just want to be friends with benefits). They want to make sure you are a serious buyer.

My point is, you want to stand out and be different. You are interested in meeting her, but you’re not another person who has a high interest and then disappears).

So what you want to do is after you get her number, wait about 3 or 4 days to text her. It shows you are interested by not waiting too long, but you aren’t desperate by coming on too strong.

Send her a few text messages back and forth. Then around the 4th message you want to ask her on a date. This is how you do it: Say Hey, I’d love to see you, when are you free to get together?

She will probably give you a few options. Pick one that works best for you. Set up a definite date and a definite time. I suggest something very casual like drinks. Ask her if she’d like you to pick up her or meet you there. But arrange that while you’re setting the date.

If she gives you any kind of maybe, I don’t know or I’ll see. Do not accept that as a date. That is a NO. Be calm and casually say well “lets do it on a day where you know you can do it”. Her reply will give you insight into her interest level.

If she says well that’s a better idea.

You can do one of two things. You can wait another week to text her and try to set up another date.

Or you can say, okay well take a look at your schedule and get back to me.

Either is fine. If you say take a look at your schedule and get back to me, then you have to mean what you say. You have to wait for her to get back to you, if she doesn’t, then you move on.

You only accept definite dates.

I have a second email who asks me my thinking behind the phone.

Ed says: Hi Craig, me and my buddy Ted were talking about your ideas on texting with a woman. You say that the phone is for setting dates only. We both think that may be a little too harsh. For example, right after you get a woman’s number, shouldn’t you text her first to get to know her. I say yes! Build her interest. Let her get to know you.

Ted says he likes to text a girl a lot before he asks her out on a date.

I think it’s great that you guys are talking about my videos and I’m glad you contacted me. Let me start with Ted.

Well while Ted is texting her a lot, she’s going out with men who actually invite her out. So the girl you like is and spend your time texting back and forth with, is sleeping with other men. So if he likes the idea of spending his time fantasizing about a woman while she goes on real dates trying to make a real relationship work.

Now, your idea is to text a woman first to get to know her before you go out.

You are trying to create attraction. You’re not going to create attraction by texting back and forth about your day. That reminds me of the scene from Seinfeld where Kramer talks about families going back and forth about their day.


The reason I say the phone is for setting dates is that most guys will over pursue a woman. They will text her every day. Some guys morning, noon and night. It does not give a woman the time she needs for feelings to develop.

Women are more attracted to guys who’s feelings are unclear. There is a Facebook study where women are shown 3 men. One that is interested, One who is not interested, and one where they do not know.

At first the woman is most attracted to the guy who is interested, but then her interest drops. The man who is not interested, they do not think about. But the one they wonder about the most is the one they are unsure about.

The other thing is that you are trying to create attraction. You’re not going to create attraction by texting back and forth about your day. That reminds me of the scene from Seinfeld where Kramer talks about families going back and forth about their day.

Texting a woman makes your interest level clear to her. At first it will stay high, then it will drop off.

So she will lose interest. The only real way to raise a woman’s interest level is to spend time with her. Going out, having fun and hooking up. I know some people have beliefs against sex before marriage. I that case you want to at least be kissing her, holding her, and doing other things that makes her bond with you.


I do want you guys to understand how we are wired biologically. The beginning of love is the lust phase. After you start regularly sleeping with a woman you start to attach. Our body releases chemicals like Oxytocin and Serotonin. It causes us to bond with each other.

If you want to know a lot more about it watch my video You’ve Changed. In it I talk more about the early stages of dating and how we begin to attach.

You want to spend time with women in person if you want a woman to be more attracted to you. It has to be in person. I know many guys will start to worry about losing a girl and start texting her all the time and she will lose interest.

I want you guys to spend time with women in person. If you want something, make time for her.

A few last reminders

Don’t double text. If a woman doesn’t respond to your text, assume she is busy and will get back with you. If you want to follow up, wait about a week.

Casual Casual Casual.

When you are first meeting someone you they have no idea who you are. All your behavior is under a microscope.

It’s like a bank account. You haven’t made many deposits. You can’t withdraw more than you deposit. If she has a higher interest level you have a little more wiggle room to make mistakes, but if she has a slight interest. It’s like your trying to start a fire with two giant logs. You need to create spark.