Taking Your Time

This video and article is called: Take your time

It talks about the importance of taking your time when you are interested in someone new.

I see a lot of mistakes that men make when they initially meet a girl and start to show interest. It’s easy to get excited when you first meet someone you are attracted to. You begin to fantasize that you have just found someone who is going to meet all your unmet needs.

The more unmet needs and childhood wounds you have, the bigger and more grandiose the fantasy. When we are starved and desperately wanting to fulfill our needs, we overlook potential red flags of partners. I got an email today that talks about this.

Danny says, Hey Craig, I really need your help with a situation that I’m going through. I first met a girl while I was out with a few friends and I really like her a lot. We talked for about 20 minutes and I asked for her number. She gave it to me as she was leaving! I have to admit I got a little over excited and started high fiving my friends when she turned around to leave. A few moments later, she turned around and saw us.

Yeah that’s embarrassing dude. In that moment, the magic was gone. You went from this totally cool dude to complete dork.  I can just imagine Danny and his buddies jumping up and down high fiving each other. She’s going to think you’ve never talked to a girl before. Some girls may think it’s endearing. But a lot of girls will be turned off and you can blow it real quick.

Danny goes on: I texted her early the next morning as I didn’t want her to forget about me. 

Come on Danny! You just met the night before and you’re afraid she forgot who you were the next morning? If she liked you she’s not going to forget about you. Not unless she got amnesia on the way home. How drunk was this girl? Is that why you think she wouldn’t remember you? This tells me Danny was neglected when he was very young. He’s very insecure and anxious. He doesn’t believe he will get his needs met unless he clings to someone. This is the way he got attention when he was small. Maybe he had a bunch of siblings, or parents with mental health issues, or generally didn’t give him what he needed.

Danny continues: She responded right away! Less than 2 minutes.

Jeez what did you have a stop watch? This guy was counting the seconds. He’s like one one thousand, two one thousand etc. You’ve already become a stage 4 clinger.

She said: Wow, you’re up early.

You know this is not good right?

Danny continues on: She talked to me about her breakfast and how she really likes waffles.

Is she Donkey from Shrek? I can see you even getting excited about this too. How much syrup do you like? I like real syrup. Real maple. It’s gotta be real syrup because for me cause I’m the real deal.

After that she went to work and she didn’t text me until she got home from work!

The nerve of this woman!

I texted her back right away. I texted her a few more times, but she hasn’t replied. I really like this girl, what should I do?

As far as this girl goes? You just need to leave her alone. You’ve already texted her several times. I don’t know what other topics you’d want to chat about (maybe pancakes or looking at brunch menus together).

You need to leave this girl alone. You have an anxious attachment style (which formed in the first few years of your life). You need to work on your issues. We all have issues in this area, but it’s about growing and being the best man you can be. If you continue to act like this with girls, they’re just going to push you away.

You have to work on yourself. If another girl comes along, no matter how she treats you. How poorly she treats you. You are going to cling to her for dear life. Because you don’t feel good about who you are. When you do, you stay in healthier relationships. Because you’re so desperate to get your needs met. You’re at a point where you you’ll take anything from anybody, and that’s not going to be a good match for you. You want to find somebody that you WANT to be with. Not need to be with.

If you stay with people because you’re needy, you’re going to take advantage of you/mistreat you. You’ll be a doormat. I’ve been there, but I’ve worked through it and you can too. By learning my strategies, you will gain an understanding yourself and your partners. When you do your relationships will be so much healthier and happier. My information will teach you to gain insight into yourself and your partner. Take your time in getting to know someone. Don’t be so anxious to put someone you  barely know, over yourself.