When Your Ex Doesn't Respond To Your Texts

When Your Ex Doesn’t Respond To Your Texts

Every day I talk with guys and women who lose emotional self control absolutely lose it when their ex doesn’t respond to their text.

So today I thought I’d do a video about it and explain the absolute importance of having discipline and not losing emotional self control.

I got an email here from Maurice who is going through this exact situation.

Hi Craig: Absolutely brilliant channel. I am hooked and you have helped me tremendously. I wanted to share my situation. My ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. Of course I begged her to work it out and it only turned her off. I tried calling her sister and getting information which worked for a few days. After that my ex told me not to contact her sister anymore because it was only making her mad.

I felt like I was dying inside. I am sick to my stomach, I can’t eat, can’t sleep and every waking moment I cannot stop thinking about her. Every day felt like an eternity.

Craig: I get that a lot. Every day you don’t hear from them feels like torture. You absolutely obsess about them. It’s because we are feeling the same pain and anxiety we would have if we lost our parents as children. For those of us who had an insecure attachment to our caregivers it’s even more painful because we had trauma.

The trauma and the anxiety causes our body to release chemicals that say. Go find your parents. You are going to die without them! This is how we are wired.

So we are absolutely consumed with getting them back. It’s all we can think about. Because our body is releasing chemicals that say YOU ARE IN DANGER. YOU MUST GO FIND THEM.

Maurice: I was trying so hard to figure out what to do. I kept thinking of all the things I could do to win them back. I decided I had come up with a plan. I was going to text her and then take her to a concert coming in town that I knew she would want to go to.

Craig: Grand gesture does not work. IF someone doesn’t want to be with you, doing something nice for them does not make them want you back. It turns them off. Just try to put yourself in that situation. Remember a time where someone liked you, but you had no interest. Even them doing something nice for you wouldn’t cause them to be interested.

Maurice: So I decided I was going to text her “Hi beautiful” and when she responded, ask her to the concert. So after about 2 weeks of no contact I texted it to her. I sat patiently waiting for hours. Nothing. I thought she’ll text me in the morning.

Nothing. Two days later she responded. I told you I need space. I lost it. I started crying, I was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe it.

Craig: So here we see the two most difficult fears of a relationship occurring. Fear of abandonment and fear of being smothered.

He was feeling abandoned. Anxiety alarms going off like crazy. Body releasing chemicals that cause him physical stress. The trama and the pain of abandonment reactivated. Just as scared and as intense as he was a kid.

Her-feeling trapped. Engulfed. Smothered already. When he reaches out, it gets worse.

Maurice: I thought if I just tell her why I was texting her she would want to go. So I texted her again.

Craig: He reached out again. His value lowers in her eyes. She loses respect for him. He appears desperate. Weak. Insecure. Her attraction for him drops. Where once her heart would have skipped a beat by seeing his text, now she feels annoyed.

Maurice: I told her that I got us tickets to the concert. She didn’t even reply. Now I feel even worse than the two weeks of no contact. It obviously made it worse. I totally see why you say you have to wait until they reach out to you.

Craig: Yes, you aren’t going to be rejected if you wait to hear from them. They DEFINITELY want to talk with you if you wait for them.

 Look, if you acted like a catch. How would you act? You wouldn’t chase her, do nice things to try and bribe her attention. You would be confident and secure in knowing that you are her best option.

But you likely have insecurity, which stems from the first two years of life. You were abandoned so you internalized and thought it was your fault. That you weren’t good enough, you weren’t lovable. But that simply wasn’t true. If your parents didn’t love or care for you, it’s because they didn’t know how to love or attach to others.

Now you are constantly afraid that you aren’t good enough… And because you believe it, you act like it. When you start to act like it she’s going to start to believe it too.So when someone breaks up with you, you don’t reach out to them. You let them come back when they miss you. You can’t make someone care about you. If they aren’t attached or they don’t care about youcan’t force them.

If they care about you, they’ll contact you. They’ll do the indirect/direct approach. I had one guy tell me today that his ex told him she wanted to come see the cat.

Stop all contact and lower your interest. You have to move on and show that you are strong. That you will survive without them. Continuing to text over and over again is only going to make things worse.

Break ups can be extremely confusing. I highly recommend my new workbook series The Knowledge. You will follow along with my videos answering questions that really help you grow, change, and re-attract your ex.

Volumes 1-5 are sold separately, but if you purchase the collection, you save.

Just click the link below: