Don’t Kiss and Tell
So today I’m going to be talking about the importance of being discrete when you start dating someone.
A woman’s reputation is very important to her.
Obviously some women don’t care, but a lot of women do.
So to play it safe you must always be very discrete about dating a woman.
I got an email here from Carl that made that very mistake
Carl says: hey Craig I think I made a big boo boo. There’s a girl at my job will I’ve been pretty interested in for a while. I wasn’t sure if it was wise to mix is Nis with pleasure. However because she is not a subordinate the company does not have any policies against it
If you guys ever decide you wanted data coworker, especially when you’ve got to the point where you are in a car rear, you should really think through if that person is worth dating.
Since people can often acting very different at work than they do in their private life, you may find out that she is very different in her romantic relationships.
This could lead to serious work drama especially if you break up. They could share details about your life that you to want other people to know. Also when some people are hurting, it will go out of their way to hurt you. They may try and make you look bad to co workers in any number of ways. They can start rumors or even outright lie. They could share your sexual preferences to people that he will work with. What you need to remember is that if they are hurt enough and find themselves leaving your job, they can cause you a lot of embarrassment.
Sometimes they may even do it by accident as we are going to find out.
We wound up going out for drinks and hooking up for about three weeks. One of our coworkers saw us out one evening and asked me about what was going on. I trusted him so I mentioned that you guys had started dating. The next morning he mentioned it to her female friend at work, who apparently had not even told her close female friend.
I was a little surprised and disappointed that she had at least not told her.
So you can see that her interest level was not that high in him yet. If a girl likes you enough, she’ll tell everyone. This girl at this time, was still keeping it quiet.
People love office drama. So the minute one other person found out, you can bet most of the office knew by the end of the day.
She was furious at me. She said she couldn’t believe I told anyone. I explained how our co worker had seen us out. She said “what’s wrong with you, you could have just told him we were hungry and had to discuss a project”. I felt so small. She said, everyone in the office knows and has been asking her all kinds of questions.
She said I like you, but I’m not ready for anyone else to know and now I feel all this pressure. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said “I don’t know”. What should I do Craig?
Well, you put yourself in a difficult situation. She is angry at you right now. Ask her what she would like you to tell people. Keep it to that answer and change the subject.
Give it some time and space and try to keep your behavior similar to what it was like before you started dating. I don’t know how often you interacted with her at work, but keep it to that.
Do not display any affection to her at work. No flirting. Keep it professional.
I would not contact her outside of work. If she wants it to continue, she’ll contact you. If she doesn’t contact you, it probably means she would have not wanted for things to go any further.
If you had that discussion, she would have just been ending things anyway.
If she does contact you simply take her out and have fun. If she brings up the situation (I wouldn’t bring it up unless she does). Apologize one time, and say that if she ever feels at a point where she wants things to progress between you too to talk with you about it and let you know what she would like other people to know.
Guys, always let the woman be the one to tell other people about you. You can’t go wrong by allowing it to be them. If she is telling other people, it’s because she really cares about you and is proud to be with you.
Don’t get upset and offended if she isn’t ready yet. And definitely don’t pressure her because you’re anxious and worried.
You want really consider all those I discussed earlier before you date somebody you work with.