Have Discipline or Fail
Today’s video is going to talk about the importance of discipline. Discipline is extremely important.
One of the hardest parts of following advice is maintaining emotional self-control when you have anxiety. If you don’t have discipline you will make mistakes and ruin perfectly good opportunities to get your ex back, build attraction, meet new women, or improve your relationships.
I often times give very specific advice on how to handle situations. If you listen to my advice, but then when you are in the moment get anxious lose emotional self-control you are going to make mistakes. This goes especially for re attracting an ex. You must have the discipline to do exactly what I suggest. I have been in that situation, I have taken the very advice and strategies I give to have gotten back with an ex.
If you think my advice is too hard and you give me excuses like I couldn’t help myself. Then you are proving to your girl that you are weak, needy and clingy. That is not strong or masculine behavior and it will always turn her off.
I have an email today from Linus that discusses this very issue. I have done numerous phone sessions with Linus. The thing about him is that he shows absolutely no emotional self control. He has tremendous amounts of anxiety and does not know how to soothe himself. I repeatedly explain to him exactly what to do, but he always gets anxious and fearful in an effort to comfort himself, he does what he wants.
I know Linus very well. Like most people, when he is anxious he only thinks about what he wants. I repeatedly point out exactly what he is doing wrong but he doesn’t care. This is a sign of immaturity and weak behavior. He acts needy and clingy and turns women off.
Linus is smart, funny and very likeable. People love being around him and most women are attracted to him. But it is his behavior that is a complete turn off.
When it comes to women, he lives in a fantasy world. In his mind, romance is exactly the same format as some lazily written crappy 1980s romantic comedy. He has this fantasy that those goofy romantic losers are the kind of things that happen in real life. He thinks he has to do something to win a girls heart. That is not how women operate at all.
I keep trying to explain that those movies are no more real that Star Wars or Godzilla.
I have told him over and over again that women are more attracted to behavior. I have explained to him what exactly he needs to do to be attractive to women, but he doesn’t listen. His anxiety overtakes him and he forgets everything I tell him.
Hey coach Craig, I screwed up really badly. As you know my ex broke up with me about 6 months ago. I tried everything to get her back. I begged, I pleaded, I told her I would do anything. I called her drunk and then got angry at her. I lashed out at her, I said I thought you loved me. You don’t care about me, you only care about yourself. I messaged her friends and asked them what I should do. They all tell me to leave her alone but I miss her so much.
This guy creates more Drama than the Lifetime network.
He puts this girl on a pedestal. The reason he does this is because he does not like the way he looks. So because this girl is attractive, he uses her to validate his self-esteem. He thinks, oh she’s attractive and she’s with me, so I’m attractive now. This is illogical thinking. You need to feel good about who you are and like who you are. Not use someone else to validate who you are.
The sad thing is, is that this guy, is absolutely one of the best in his career. He is incredibly talented and has a gift. He already is something special and everyone recognizes that about him except for himself.
He goes on: I don’t know what I should do. I saw her post pictures with the guy she was hooking up before me and it really freaked me out. It pisses me off that she’s with him. I texted her recently and she texted back to me for the first time in months. I told her I how much I missed her. I know, you told me not to tell her how I feel because it will push her away. Now she stopped answering my texts.
This is exactly what I told him would happen. He comes on too strong, she feels trapped, and then she runs like hell.
So I messaged her on Facebook and asked her if she would ever talk with me again. She said she needs time and space and that she will contact me when she is ready.
If there’s one thing I know about Linus, it’s that despite getting the best information in the world, he is going to make excuses that he “can’t help it”. No Linus, you can help it. You can’t fly. You can exhibit emotional self control.
I waited a week and asked her out. So instead of waiting for her exactly like she asked him to do, he did not exhibit any discipline. Now she won’t talk to me again and her friends tell me she is done with me. I miss her so much.
I’m afraid that if I stop contacting her she will forget about me. I really miss her.
What he misses is the way he feels when he is with her.
Now, the thing about this girl is, aside from her looks, there is nothing special about her. In fact, in my opinion she is not girlfriend material. When they were together she wasn’t a good girlfriend. She is extremely selfish. She has a drinking problem and even though he is a recovering alcoholic, she drinks around him. I’m not talking about one or two drinks, I’m talking about get hammered drunk. So she is not a good influence. She is detrimental to his health and sobriety.
There are a ton of reasons that he needs to find a better girl. One time when he was out with her, and a couple they are friends with, she was drunk and grabbed another guys crotch in the backseat of the car. The girl of the other guy started screaming at her. Then she got mad at her friend for letting Linus know what she did!
She has slept with at least 5 of his coworkers. That she has admitted to.He knows who they are, he has to see them and it makes him go crazy. Now, I told him that was in her past so he has to be an adult and either deal with it and be okay with it or move on.
I know I am coming off as really hard on this guy, but I have been working with him for a long time. He knows everything I’m saying is true. I am hard on him because I want him to succeed.
He starts to make improvements and get results, but then as soon as he gets attached to a girl he loses all emotional self-control and does the exact opposite of what I say.
Guys, you have to be able to handle and regulate your anxiety. Re watch the video I did called the real reason relationships fail.
When I say you have to have discipline that means, when you are anxious and fearful about losing a girl, you must maintain emotional self-control and not contact her. The very thing you are afraid of happening, you will cause to happen! You will push her away even further.