My Ex Doesn't Follow Me BUT Stalks My Stories

Today we're going to be talking about, my ex doesn't follow me, but they stalk my stories. Oh man. Oh, this happens a lot. And we're going to be talking about that today, but I did want to let you guys know that we do have these brand new phone cases, as you can see, I got coach Margaret here to Supreme leader and Craig's logo. Yup. And you could get that on our Teespring store. If you're interested, just search coach Craig Kenneth on the Teespring store and you'll find them there. There's also a tee shirt with Margaret on there with the same picture Supreme leader and a mug for all you guys have been asking for merchandise, we finally got some ready for you. So check them out. You can take us with you wherever you go.

Craig (01:32):

There you go. So let's talk about this Margaret Instagram and stalking on Instagram and Facebook stories is absolutely huge in the age of social media. And of course there will be new avenues to stalk people in the next couple of years. And somebody sent me an email asking about this. They said, hello, coach Craig. I've been watching your channel for about three months. And I have to say you and Margaret are the best. Not only have you helped me feel much better about my breakup, but you taught me more about healthy relationships than my parents. Well, I'm so glad I wanted to say that I have been doing the work, 20 to 30 minutes on the workbooks every day and I feel so much better. I have all 10 and I'm so proud of myself. I feel like I'm actually doing something about fixing my issues. I feel like I'm going to school, but learning about myself. So thank you. I have one question. My girlfriend broke up with me about four months ago. I haven't heard from her since we initially broke up at the time. She told me that she doesn't see any reason to have any contact anymore. She said she didn't want to talk about anything and unfollowed and removed me from her followers. However, I do notice that she watches my Instagram stories. Almost every time I post them, I don't get it. She says she doesn't want anything to do with me, but still stalks me. I see your confusion. Yeah. They said, this is really confusing. Does this mean she still cares about me? Does she want to get back together? Well, I would definitely say that getting back together would be a huge leap. That would be a leap. But if for me, her behavior is telling me she's interested in enough in you enough to look on a fairly regular basis. And you know what? The Instagram stories, she knows that he can see that she's watching. So she's brave enough to do it, knowing that he knows that she's watching all these times, because it sounds like it's happening on a pretty consistent basis. It's not like it happened once and it hasn't happened in a few months. It sounds like it's maybe on a regular basis here. Like maybe once or twice a week or something like that. But it is certainly what one would call a mixed message. It is. Yeah. She says to him, you know, I don't see any reason why we should be in contact anymore yet. She's watching to see what you're doing.

Margaret (04:27):

Right. and people do give off mixed messages as human beings. We often do that. Sometimes our brain and our heart don't catch up with each other all at the same time. Would it meet the level of indirect direct?

New Speaker (04:42):

No, because there's nothing direct about it.

Margaret (04:45):

Yeah. It's indirect, indirect. It's indirect indirect.

New Speaker (04:48):

They haven't made any kind of actual effort or contact to contact you, but let them watch. And I mean, certainly the behavior says the person still has some interests. Absolutely. Yeah. Your actions are telling you something there or her actions are telling you something right there. If they truly had no interest, they wouldn't leave. Well, they wouldn't look. They just wouldn't care. Right. But the fact that they look says they care at least somewhat.

Margaret (05:18):

Right. I learned a long time ago that if words say one thing and behavior says the other, the behavior speaks louder. Absolutely.

Craig (05:30):

Or as I sometimes say, actions speak louder than words. It's very similar. But yeah, I mean, she can tell you all that. She wants how she doesn't care if she doesn't want to talk to you, but she's doing something to see what you're doing to stay connected with you, to see what's going on in your life. And she, and she knows, you know. Yeah. So she's sending you a very, very mixed, it is a big mixed message and just allow her to continue to watch. You don't have to hide anything. Nope. If she wants to reach out, she will, you know, it might be one of those things where she's like, I I'm frustrated. I want to know what he's doing, you know, but she's by herself and she cracks and she looks, and then afterwards she's like, I shouldn't have looked.

Margaret (06:18):

And besides he knows.

Craig (06:20):

They looked at now, he knows, I left, Oh my God. Now she's embarrassed. Right. So, but let her find the courage to do the indirect direct approach, which I'm sure is what someone would do. She's going to move in steps. Yeah, exactly. She'll go from indirect and direct to a little more directly. It's a little bit more direct and that's when you can do something about it. But it's common even for ex's that tell you, they're not interested. They're never going to date you again. All of a sudden who's looking at your statuses on Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat and feelings change as you pointed out often. That's right. Because you know, at the time she had said to you, she didn't see a reason to continue having contact, but clearly that's at least changed in some degree, I guess she found one.

Craig (07:11):

Yeah, exactly. Right. so this is not a surprise to me. I see things like this all the time where exes cut you off. They don't want to talk to you. They defriend, you, they block you, now they're unblocking you.

Margaret (07:26):

And you feel like all is lost. Yeah.

New Speaker (07:28):

Yeah. But you know, they do something in the moment. They're emotional, they're upset, they're confused. And in time they can process things. They can think about it. They can deal with it. And a lot of times they come back into your life and want to revisit and they want to see where you're at, what you're doing and the more you've done to grow and change, the more likely they're going to be like, wow. I mean, this is incredible. How much you've changed in such a short amount of time. And that's a lot more attractive to them.

Margaret (08:01):

Yeah. But consider yourself ever so slightly flattered. Yeah. Person. Didn't forget you.

Craig (08:07):

That's true. Yeah. You guys always worried if they forgot you, not if they're looking at your stories, not if they're looking at your stuff. Absolutely. All right. So hopefully this makes you guys feel a little bit better and clears that up a little bit for you.