does my ex still love

Will My Ex Think About Me On Valentine's Day?

Craig (00:00):

Today. We're going to be talking about, will my ex think about me on Valentine's day? Well, if you're going through a breakup, that's a particularly difficult day. Yeah. And you are pretty much obsessing about your ex that day. Unot necessarily where they're at or what they're doing, but you just keep thinking about them. It's going to be everywhere because love is going to be everywhere on TV.

Margaret (01:08):

Absolutely. You cannot get away from social

Craig (01:10):

Media. You see what friends are doing? You hear what friends are doing and it just makes you feel awful. Yeah. So you're thinking about them nonstop, right? And so you're like, are they even thinking about me?

Margaret (01:24):

Or have they just moved on?

Craig (01:27):

To me? I think how could they not think about you? Right. That's right. How could they not think about you when, even if they're not wanting to be with you, even if they don't want a relationship right now, how could they not think about the person that they've spent, you know, probably last Valentine's day with, for many of you and how would they not be able to think about what you did last Valentine's day? I think that's a big thing.

Margaret (01:57):

Absolutely. You're going to remember what you did last year. Yeah. Or at any happy Valentine's days of the past. Of course.

Craig (02:06):

You know, when a holiday comes up, I think we often are reminded of the last one, you know, last Christmas last, last birthday. Yeah. And so I think it's normal. And how could they, you just can't put a push that out of your unconscious.

Margaret (02:21):

No, it is impossible to move on and never think back.

Craig (02:26):

Yeah. And even though you feel like they're not wondering how you're doing, maybe they've said we're never going to date again. I don't care about you anymore. Even if they're dating somebody new, it doesn't mean that they're not going to think about you. It's just the way we're wired.

Margaret (02:42):

Right. It's the way we're wired,

Craig (02:43):

The attachment that we have to other people is just so overwhelming. Those intrusive thoughts, they're going to experience it too. Right. so it doesn't necessarily mean that they're to want to get back with you, right? We're not saying that just because they're thinking about you, they're going to want to repair things or then they're going to come back. We can't say that, but we really feel like if you leave them alone, it's going to impact them and they have to sit with that. Right. And we say that all the time, because we just know how important it is that, you know, you may be tempted to reach out, but I think it's more powerful if you don't reach it.

Margaret (03:25):

That's right. And even if they broke up with you, I think you pointed out earlier today. Great. They're going to wonder why you didn't.

Craig (03:34):

Yeah. I mean, I think that it's more powerful for them to feel that loss that day. That's right. Don't you? Yeah. So when you're tempted to buy them a gift, reach out see how they're doing. Just know that they are thinking about you. And I think social media is, is changing that too. Like don't you think people are going to be looking at you on that day.

Victoria (03:59):

Yeah, definitely. And you have to remember that spending Valentine's day with your partner is a privilege. So once that relationship is over, you don't want to keep giving them that privilege, that you're always accessible to them, even on holidays and special days, like Valentine's day, you want to have them experience that loss. And of course, on social media, they're going to be scrolling, seeing what you're up to seeing what other people are up to. They're going to be exposed to the same amount of, let's say, love propaganda that you are. Exactly.

Craig (04:33):

Yeah. I, I think that it's just one of those things that they may not reach out or, and I don't think they will reach out for Valentine's day because it's overwhelming. Right. Right. Like, because it's like, if you reach out on Valentine's day, it's almost like saying, "I want to fix this". And I think that's going to be too big of a step for somebody

Margaret (04:54):

Don't do it.

Craig (04:55):

I think that, you know, you should just expect not to hear from them, but that not hearing from you will really hit their unconscious and be powerful to them. Right.

Victoria (05:08):

Because they probably expect to hear from you on that day, like you were saying Margaret. Right.

Margaret (05:12):

Yeah. And I have often said to people, remember who broke up with whom, right?

Craig (05:18):

Yeah. Because even if they don't want to hear from you, I think on some level they do want to hear it from you

Margaret (05:25):

Sure they do. Right. Or at least know that you still find them attractive and wonderful and all of those good things.

Craig (05:30):

They want them back. Yes. So, you know, I think it's safe to say that most of you will know in the back of your mind, your ex is gonna think about you. Of course, you know, some of you that may have been in like a situationship or something like that, maybe not. But even then I think you're going to at least come into their unconscious at some point during the day, because we cannot wait, wipe out close relationships. It's just so easy for a thought to pop up when you're not even thinking about it. Right.

Victoria (06:05):

And romance is not something that you share with everybody. It's something that you share with select people. It's rare. Yeah. So on a day, like Valentine's day where romantic feelings are at an all time high, of course, you know, romantic partners are going to come to their mind.

Craig (06:22):

Yeah. That chemistry that you had, that connection, that feeling of, you know, maybe how good the relationship was at its peak and how long, you know, all those things are going to come back to you. Right. So I think we all kind of agree that your ex will think about you at some point during the day and wonder what's going on with you, even if the relationship ended badly. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. So we just wanted to talk about that and reassure you that we know how awful it feels. We know you feel like they don't care about you. I've been there. Right. I've been in the situation completely convinced that that person wasn't thinking about me, but they often will admit later on, "I thought about you all the time". Right. How often do we hear that? Very often. Right. And, and you feel like there's no hope, but you don't know what they're doing behind closed doors.

Victoria (07:22):

Exactly. And it can be very hard to keep that emotional self control on a day, like Valentine's day, but just remember it's even more important on days, like Valentine's day to continue to no contact and to have that emotional self-control

Craig (07:36):

Control. Yeah. I think so. I think it's more powerful for your ex not to hear from you.

Margaret (07:40):

And to give your ex the benefit of getting in touch with all of their feelings.

Margaret (07:46):

But it's going to be an emotional day for them too. And of course, whether they show it or not, I don't think they would show it. They want to keep their guard up. But that doesn't mean behind closed doors, they're not feeling that loss right. Laying down at night, trying to fall asleep, thinking about it. Cause they know they made mistakes too. Sure. They know that they cause problems in that relationship to fail. Even if they're putting all the blame on you, they have to get to that point at some time. Right. So hopefully this makes you feel a little bit better about Valentine's day. And just knowing that there's a very good chance that they're thinking about you wondering how you are, wondering what's going on with you and that they're struggling with that day too. Right? Okay. Hopefully you found this video helpful. And of course, if you want to get our help personally, just go to my website, askcraig.net, sign up for the coaching option that works best for you.

My Ex Doesn't Follow Me BUT Stalks My Stories

Today we're going to be talking about, my ex doesn't follow me, but they stalk my stories. Oh man. Oh, this happens a lot. And we're going to be talking about that today, but I did want to let you guys know that we do have these brand new phone cases, as you can see, I got coach Margaret here to Supreme leader and Craig's logo. Yup. And you could get that on our Teespring store. If you're interested, just search coach Craig Kenneth on the Teespring store and you'll find them there. There's also a tee shirt with Margaret on there with the same picture Supreme leader and a mug for all you guys have been asking for merchandise, we finally got some ready for you. So check them out. You can take us with you wherever you go.

Craig (01:32):

There you go. So let's talk about this Margaret Instagram and stalking on Instagram and Facebook stories is absolutely huge in the age of social media. And of course there will be new avenues to stalk people in the next couple of years. And somebody sent me an email asking about this. They said, hello, coach Craig. I've been watching your channel for about three months. And I have to say you and Margaret are the best. Not only have you helped me feel much better about my breakup, but you taught me more about healthy relationships than my parents. Well, I'm so glad I wanted to say that I have been doing the work, 20 to 30 minutes on the workbooks every day and I feel so much better. I have all 10 and I'm so proud of myself. I feel like I'm actually doing something about fixing my issues. I feel like I'm going to school, but learning about myself. So thank you. I have one question. My girlfriend broke up with me about four months ago. I haven't heard from her since we initially broke up at the time. She told me that she doesn't see any reason to have any contact anymore. She said she didn't want to talk about anything and unfollowed and removed me from her followers. However, I do notice that she watches my Instagram stories. Almost every time I post them, I don't get it. She says she doesn't want anything to do with me, but still stalks me. I see your confusion. Yeah. They said, this is really confusing. Does this mean she still cares about me? Does she want to get back together? Well, I would definitely say that getting back together would be a huge leap. That would be a leap. But if for me, her behavior is telling me she's interested in enough in you enough to look on a fairly regular basis. And you know what? The Instagram stories, she knows that he can see that she's watching. So she's brave enough to do it, knowing that he knows that she's watching all these times, because it sounds like it's happening on a pretty consistent basis. It's not like it happened once and it hasn't happened in a few months. It sounds like it's maybe on a regular basis here. Like maybe once or twice a week or something like that. But it is certainly what one would call a mixed message. It is. Yeah. She says to him, you know, I don't see any reason why we should be in contact anymore yet. She's watching to see what you're doing.

Margaret (04:27):

Right. and people do give off mixed messages as human beings. We often do that. Sometimes our brain and our heart don't catch up with each other all at the same time. Would it meet the level of indirect direct?

New Speaker (04:42):

No, because there's nothing direct about it.

Margaret (04:45):

Yeah. It's indirect, indirect. It's indirect indirect.

New Speaker (04:48):

They haven't made any kind of actual effort or contact to contact you, but let them watch. And I mean, certainly the behavior says the person still has some interests. Absolutely. Yeah. Your actions are telling you something there or her actions are telling you something right there. If they truly had no interest, they wouldn't leave. Well, they wouldn't look. They just wouldn't care. Right. But the fact that they look says they care at least somewhat.

Margaret (05:18):

Right. I learned a long time ago that if words say one thing and behavior says the other, the behavior speaks louder. Absolutely.

Craig (05:30):

Or as I sometimes say, actions speak louder than words. It's very similar. But yeah, I mean, she can tell you all that. She wants how she doesn't care if she doesn't want to talk to you, but she's doing something to see what you're doing to stay connected with you, to see what's going on in your life. And she, and she knows, you know. Yeah. So she's sending you a very, very mixed, it is a big mixed message and just allow her to continue to watch. You don't have to hide anything. Nope. If she wants to reach out, she will, you know, it might be one of those things where she's like, I I'm frustrated. I want to know what he's doing, you know, but she's by herself and she cracks and she looks, and then afterwards she's like, I shouldn't have looked.

Margaret (06:18):

And besides he knows.

Craig (06:20):

They looked at now, he knows, I left, Oh my God. Now she's embarrassed. Right. So, but let her find the courage to do the indirect direct approach, which I'm sure is what someone would do. She's going to move in steps. Yeah, exactly. She'll go from indirect and direct to a little more directly. It's a little bit more direct and that's when you can do something about it. But it's common even for ex's that tell you, they're not interested. They're never going to date you again. All of a sudden who's looking at your statuses on Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat and feelings change as you pointed out often. That's right. Because you know, at the time she had said to you, she didn't see a reason to continue having contact, but clearly that's at least changed in some degree, I guess she found one.

Craig (07:11):

Yeah, exactly. Right. so this is not a surprise to me. I see things like this all the time where exes cut you off. They don't want to talk to you. They defriend, you, they block you, now they're unblocking you.

Margaret (07:26):

And you feel like all is lost. Yeah.

New Speaker (07:28):

Yeah. But you know, they do something in the moment. They're emotional, they're upset, they're confused. And in time they can process things. They can think about it. They can deal with it. And a lot of times they come back into your life and want to revisit and they want to see where you're at, what you're doing and the more you've done to grow and change, the more likely they're going to be like, wow. I mean, this is incredible. How much you've changed in such a short amount of time. And that's a lot more attractive to them.

Margaret (08:01):

Yeah. But consider yourself ever so slightly flattered. Yeah. Person. Didn't forget you.

Craig (08:07):

That's true. Yeah. You guys always worried if they forgot you, not if they're looking at your stories, not if they're looking at your stuff. Absolutely. All right. So hopefully this makes you guys feel a little bit better and clears that up a little bit for you.